'Affairs shouldn't start and end with a phone' ? The Punch ...

Chinwe Bode-Akinwande
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A banker, Chinwe Bode-Akinwande also doubles as a relationship expert using her platform, Singles Connect. In this interview, she discusses her passion.

Q: What is Singles Connect all about?

A: Just as the name implies, it is a` platform we have created to get singles connected. We pegged it at 28 years and above so as to have this category of people that are mature and understand what it means to be single. The platform we have created is where these like minds can meet, interact, talk about life?s issues and most importantly, anything can happen. You can meet your wife or husband. Even if you don?t, you may end up with good friends.

Q: Was this solely your idea?

A:My husband and I are responsible for this idea and we also have a number of team members.

Q: As a married woman, why are you still interested in singles? affair?

A: You can also look at singleness from wholeness. I am single and whole as a human being but I am married in terms of marital status. However, I was once single and some things I know now, I wish I knew them when I was single. There were gatherings I wished I had opportunities to be part of not just to meet other singles but for other opportunities like business, friendship and sharing of ideas among other things. Since I was once single, it makes it more interesting because I speak to other singles now from experience.

Q: How do you plan to bring this set of people you are targeting under one roof?

A: In addition to having an interactive website, Mannie and the Angels of Cool FM have also been supportive. We have made adequate use of the social media to disseminate information.

Q: Is it right to describe you also as a relationship coach?

A: Being a coach is relative. It must have the consent of the person that needs to be coached.? By your consent, I mean, for me to coach you, there are certain questions I will ask you; which you must answer. If I am asking, you don?t have to be offended.

Q: So far, have you recorded any marriages among your singles?

A: Not yet but remember that we are also new. Therefore, we pray that in the nearest future, there will be marriages to be celebrated. That is our desire. As a matter of fact, we also want to sponsor some weddings that will come out of Singles Connect.

Q: Do you go the extra mile to verify the data of your singles?

A: The best we can do is to ask some basic questions which, out of reflex, you would not lie about them even when you are registering. As I said, it is a platform we have created. Your responsibility also as an individual, who wants to go further, is to make further enquiries. Ask questions you have not asked. It is not okay for you to rely on the information you gather from Singles Connect.?? If he tells us, for instance, that he is from Jalingo, it is up to you to not only confirm but also confirm the local government. One of the things we do is to give you tips on how to go about all these things; so you do not end up with a fake. We cannot guarantee the integrity of anybody.

Q: When you say singles, does this preclude widows and divorcees?

A: When we say singles, we mean those who have never been married, those legally divorced, widows and widowers.

Q: How long have you been married?

A: I have been married for eight years.

Q: What is the secret of having a successful relationship with one?s partner?

A: Communication is key. When I was courting, my fianc? and I, who is my husband, told ourselves that no matter what the issue is, we would resolve it in 24 hours and that has helped. We talk to each other and we are open and honest in this relationship. We learn to be perfect forgivers because nobody is perfect. We all should have it at the back of our minds that your partner will not willingly want to hurt you.

Q: So, what is the greatest problem youths are facing in their relationship today?

A: We look at it and what we are seeing are gender peculiarities and the question is: are things which were peculiar to a man years ago, still peculiar in the world of today? Ditto for the woman also. They say a woman is caring, respectful, has good morals, emotional and all that. Do they still exist in the world of today?? A man is expected to be responsible, is that still the case? There are conflicting priorities in the world now and in the life of singles. Singles believe a relationship starts and ends with a blackberry. As long as you ping, you do not even see each other but it goes beyond that. There are body languages to be deduced. Therefore, as long as we do not go back to those values, there will always be problem. In relationships, we cannot but emphasise values.

Q: You work in a bank, how do you juggle all you do?

A: It is very tasking but when you are passionate about something, you have to drive it. I create the time for all I do and make sure nothing suffers. I have learnt to compartmentalise things and it is working for me if it means sacrificing my weekends for the programme, I do it without regrets.

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Source: http://www.punchng.com/spice/style/affairs-shouldnt-start-and-end-with-a-phone/

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